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(like a you or a me)- fic erasure

somewhere near the beginning of 2012 I found myself bored and wanting to try my hand at fic erasure. I made the executive decision (read, I was trolling her archives) to abuse lettersandliars written bits in her fic as small as a world I don't know if I'm exactly pleased with it, but here is my first attempt.

(yes. it was a kh fic)

(like a you or a me)



He worries his heart must be a desert
shifting, turning, breathing
He lays
fingers against his reflection,
“Alright, I get it.”
Leans over
and lets the face look satisfied.

-

She’s afraid,
she’s hurt.
She smiles and touches his
shoulder
it’s still there.
It’s a strange feeling.

-

In dreams it’s okay.
They matter.
They hear the familiar and
give a sadist’s grin; this is
how people exist
one heart echoes emptily,
he feels frustration,
like a weight in the air
pressing down on him.
In the blackness he wonders if
anyone remembers
him, it stings to
think that way.
He asks once,
“no one. Nobody.”

-

Some nights he lets himself fall
asleep
vulnerable.
Wonders if he’s
tired,
careful,
careful,
don’t wake him up
and
he grins
it doesn’t matter and there
are warm hands
wrapping and
grabbing and
he sees red


-

with sleep in his eyes the
sun melts
yellow scars of light on leg,
hair,
mattress.
Light and shadow and
nothing else,
out of focus
the room feels empty for it.
“that was a memory, that was yours.”

-

His feet move and he
spins and
bends and
twists
almost like dancing.
He laughs and
smiles and

-

eyes glinting
blood caked and
leaps
jumps
pounces
and feels fire crackle
underneath


-

hands graze arm,
stomach
the scars of sins
hand over his mouth and bites fingers
sliding
touching
skin
he sighs. She asks what
happened and he says
nothing.

-

She moves against his
shoulder, shifting
underneath “It’s good, right?”
makes a contented noise
an agreement
a lie
hollow
ringing.
He watches the sun roll off
skin like water
sees it reflect
bleaching everything
it’s only his eyes playing tricks on him.

-

She is proud
satisfied
earns a mute sort of applause.
She is
listening with eyes closed
“feel that”
“not really”
“me neither”
and slow his breathing to match hers

-

He is awake.
Shakes and thinks of when
He said he’d never do
that again.
He looks up at the
Sky. There is a
Sadness that wrenches and
Pulls.

Comments

lettersandliars
Dec. 20th, 2012 05:01 am (UTC)
ANA YOU CAN'T JUST SPRING THIS KINDA SHIT ON ME

I WAS UNPREPARED

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER THIS FIC

She smiles and touches his
shoulder
it’s still there.
It’s a strange feeling.


oh. my. god. YES. BECAUSE SHE WILL NOT BE LEFT ALONE ANYMORE AND IT SURPRISES HER THAT SHE CAN GET WHAT SHE WANTS



In the blackness he wonders if
anyone remembers
him, it stings to
think that way.
He asks once,
“no one. Nobody.”


DAMMIT ANA


the melting sun omg. i had so much fun playing with light and dark in this fic and BASICALLY YUP

HE SMILES AND FEELS FIRE, HAPPINESS IS WHAT CATALYZES AXEL, JESUS CHRIST

also the next stanza is sexy as hell and if you don't stop playing with the nothing/nobody stuff i will have to CUT MY HEART OUT WITH A SPOON AND SERVE IT TO YOU RAW AND OOZING

next stanza is also sexy and deeply sad and gives me original flavor long!fic feels? it's a lie because he knows it's too simple this way but it can't be because this is happily ever after, right?

like all this dialogue-y bits are just KILLING ME because does it matter who says what because there's all this layered meaning, the acquiescence inherent in it, the lack of feeling becoming the substance that creates that moment, NOTHING LITERALLY GIVING BIRTH TO SOMETHING kill me

i got nothing zilch zero bc you have DESTROYED ME and ilu

take my baffled tim/kon hug icon bc it is the only thing i have left
iki_teru
Dec. 20th, 2012 08:54 am (UTC)
SHUT UP WITH ALL YOUR NICE WORDS AND I DON'T EVEN.... I DIDN'T DO NUTHIN' YOU HEAR ME

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