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You Want a Better Story

Title You Want a Better Story
Word Count 1,378
Summary: Sometimes it takes a visit from god and a cup of joe to help get your shit together.
Notes: Thanks to mine beta lettersandliarsand friend Maggie (not on lj) for being an authority of ridiculous proportions on coffees and what god may or may not partake in the drinking of. This piece is purely fiction and in no way represents my personal religious beliefs, nor am I attempting to sway yours.

John finds God on a Wednesday at StarbucksCollapse )

John fumbles for his wallet when the total springs up. “Let me,” he says, but Gigi pushes the wallet against his chest gently.

“It’s my treat,” she says. “Why don’t we grab a table by the window? It’s a beautiful day.”

John considers the view on the other side of the glass. Blue-grey clouds fill the sky, as he watches a fork of lightning appears and disappears in the distance. “Sure,” he says.

They don’t sit until their drinks are made. Hands brush when Gigi hands over the espresso and John shivers. He knows they touched, saw the fingertips graze one another but he felt nothing there.

The espresso is good, hot and strong and just what he needed today. John watches, bemused, as Gigi takes a long sip and smacks her lips together.

“Now then,” says Gigi. She tucks stray hair behind her ear and folds her hands delicately upon the table. “What would you like to talk about today?”

“Why are you here?” John hadn’t meant to blurt it quite so rudely, but there it is. He bites his lip and studies the lines in the table, wondering what it’s going to be like to be scolded by a deity.

Gigi smiles with just the corner of her mouth. “Didn’t pay attention in bible school, did you? I’m everywhere.”

“No, I mean. Why are you here at this table, and why do you look like that?”

She takes another pull of her drink, regarding John over the rim of her cup, her expression brimming with fondness. “Not what you were expecting? People tend to prefer the Morgan Freeman rendition. I don’t really blame them; that man has a very powerful presence. This is just how I look in this particular moment.”

“Then you’re not always a woman?”

“John, really.” Her voice tilts an octave, more of an exasperated teacher who’s trying not to let her student know she thinks he’s funny. John wonders what it would take to make God laugh, if the sounds he would hear would be true or just an echo of another mortal somewhere on Earth.

“I’m here because you wanted to talk.”

“That’s not fair,” says John with a frown. “Lots of people want to talk to you; I don’t see you having coffee with them.”

“And you wouldn’t. Nobody in this shop sees you having coffee with me. They see you with a young woman, probably a classmate or a cousin, maybe even a lover.

“I’m here, John, like this because you’re a little more stubborn than most. Normally, I can reach people in their dreams or on the breeze or the kindness of others.” Gigi slides her cup to the side so she can lean forward, rests her chin in her folded hands. “You don’t dream anymore, John. You still talk to me, but all my replies turn to white noise.”

John feels something seize in his chest. He reminds himself to breath, to draw air in a regular pattern. He’s careful to keep his gaze focused on Gigi, careful to blink at regular intervals to keep the tears at bay.

“Ask me, John.”

The first drops of rain begin to spatter across the window. Outside, there is another flash of lightning, the whole sky is illuminated and the world is lost in the glow. There is a beat of quiet before the thunder sounds in the distance.

“Am I a bad person?”

Gigi closes her eyes, a lazy cat-blink and studies John carefully. “You aren’t good or bad. Everyone is, essentially, good with the capability for doing wrong. “

John frowns. “Is this whole conversation going to consist of fortune cookie platitudes?”

“Let’s keep talking and we’ll find out.” Gigi grins, exposing a sliver of teeth.

John lets the silence fold around them again while he considers his words. In the parking lot, a girl squeals as the rain’s tempo increases. At the counter the cashier apologizes to a customer when the lights flicker, resetting her register.

“Am I being punished?”

“Why would you be?”

John shrugs. “I haven’t exactly been the best person. I’ve lied to my parents, cheated on tests. I’ve had pre-marital sex. Isn’t that all things that you’re supposed to be punished for?”

Gigi gives him an indulgent look. “You really have no idea how this works.”

“I just don’t know what to do anymore,” John sighs. He runs a hand through his hair, fidgets uncomfortably in his seat. “I’m trying; I’m really trying so hard. Every time I think I’m making progress, it seems like the hill just gets steeper.” John scratches absently at his arm, bites down on his words and takes a moment to stare out the window again. The world has been lost beneath the pounding rain. “I just keep thinking, if I hadn’t-“

“John.” Gigi leans forward, covering his hand with her own. It’s that same queer not-there feeling from before and John stares, helpless, at the place where they’re linked. “It wasn’t because of that.”

“Then why,” John swallows around the knot in his throat. “Why can’t I ever be enough?”

Gigi leans back in her chair, folds her hands over each other at the wrist and fixes John with a look that reminds him of his mother. She had looked at him exactly the same way, when he was six years old and she told him his dog had been ran over.

“It’s not that simple. I can’t give you the answers, I’m sorry. There will never be a day where things are magically fixed, there is always going to be the good days and the bad. That’s what makes the good days worth it, but it’s also what makes the bad ones hurt so much. You have to find it in yourself, John, to want to stick it out, to want to experience everything that comes to you. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but it will be worth it.”

John found himself blinking, everything has gone blurry and he feels it all leak out of him; all the shame and anger and fear and self-loathing running down his face in hot streaks. “Will you still love me, if I can’t?”

Gigi rises from the table, comes to John’s side and embraces him, presses his face to her chest and strokes his hair. “Of course I will.”

“Why did you come here, if you can’t give me answers?”

“To let you know I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Nobody pays any attention to John’s little outburst. He realizes they’re the only ones in this corner of the store; everyone else is huddled against the far wall away from the window. Gigi reclaims her seat and drink, smiling congenially like she had not just held and comforted John. “How’re we feeling?” she asks.

John considers the question as outside, the rain slows. “I don’t know, not better but I guess…calmer?”

Gigi bobs her head. “Ah, it’s over already. What a short storm.” She slurps the last of her drink up, her gaze sliding back to John. “That’s the thing about rain, no matter how bad it gets you have to remember the sun will come back to you.”

John finds himself smiling, a chuckle even rumbling up from somewhere he thought he had lost. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

They stand, almost in unison and head towards the door. “Take care of yourself, John. Remember to call, alright?”

He nods along, breathing in deeply. The air still smells like the storm, rain water and ozone and maybe second chances. “I’ll try.”

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

through apple tinted glasses

Title Through Apple Tinted Glasses, written for kh_drabble012 secret santa for wishingdreamer5
Word Count: 1,015
Notes: this is actually a much smaller piece of something because the whole thing got under my skin and I just…got extremely carried away, but I sincerely hope you enjoy the snippet I offer for you ♥
laughter and warmth and friendshipCollapse )

The Sun Breaks Through

Title:the sun breaks through, originally written for kh_drabblehallenge 299, Birthday
Word Count536
Notes:have bitty!Kairi and bitty!selphie friendshi drabble. Also, it’s my personal head-canon that Matron fro FF VIII is the one who Kairi lives with on the islands, for any of those wh are like “omgwtfbbq?” Also, has a song and finally, thanks to mine beta lettersandliarsto fixing this when my eyes decided they didn't want to work. Any remaining errors are solely mine, Con-crit welcome and appreciated ♥



When you come to me and you smile suddenly I feel as if everything's okayCollapse )

A Helping Hand (birthday fic 2 of 2)

Horrible title because I'm mature.

title A Helping Hand
word count: 1,001
Rating uuuuugh. hard R? Light NC-17? LOOK. THERE'S PORN-Y BITS HERE BUT THEY'RE REALLY BAD ONES SO IDEK. VIEWER DISCRETION.
Fandom: Ouran Host Club
Notes: I've owed you this fic for like, ever so yea. worst birthday present ever, I'm sorry hun.

here lies the most awkward fic everCollapse )

The Light Falls In (birthday fic 1 of 2)

This is what I'll call the good birthday fic. Because, Comparatively, it is. So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KERI! I LOVE YOU SO HARD!

title The Light Falls In
Word Count: 965
series: Kingdom Hearts
Summary: In which a staring contest takes place and Leon has a Realization.

Leon's not entirely sure how it happenedCollapse )

(like a you or a me)- fic erasure

somewhere near the beginning of 2012 I found myself bored and wanting to try my hand at fic erasure. I made the executive decision (read, I was trolling her archives) to abuse lettersandliars written bits in her fic as small as a world I don't know if I'm exactly pleased with it, but here is my first attempt.

(yes. it was a kh fic)

(like a you or a me)

He worries his heart must be a desertCollapse )
Title: Glittering Everywhere Like Stars
Word Count: 2,598
Summary: Sora is dying and Riku is trying to fix it.
Notes: a (sort of zombie!)fic written as a belated All Hollows Read thing so yes, this is all lettersandliars's fault. GO FIGURE.

but we always win and we never quit, see, we’ve won again, here we are at the placeCollapse )

Let's Pretend We're Normal for a Bit

Title Let's Pretend We're Normal for a Bit
Word Count: 947
Series: Doctor Who! No Kingdom Hearts in sight!
Notes: Written for a little meme thing where my friend Patrick chose "Doctor Who, High School AU" and this is what you get. I'm not sorry.

there is a certain sameness to high schoolCollapse )

A Shift in the Sand

Title: A Shift in the Sand
Word count:558
Notes: a fic meme thing! KH rule 63 (which basically boils down to gender!bent), as requested by lettersandliars and this threatened to get overwhelmingly out of control so here. a snippet.

and if things were differentCollapse )

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